There Goes My Only Possession
As I shuffled to straighten the first row I was in, I thought of my Mom. She has left this world and is only able to be directly related to me now through the doa's and my good deeds. When 'anak Adam' leaves this world, she is cut off from it except through 4 channels. And one of these channels is the possession she left behind in the form of 'anak yang soleh yang mendoakannya'.
Autumn set in early in Bournemouth.
The resplendent colour that seared through The North Park was remarkably scintillating.
The companionship of park-football cotton-balled into a sweet memory to bring with me to bleak Manchester.Listening to 10cc on the air-wave doing 'I'm not in Love' was poignant.
We boys hugged each other, oblivious to the gazing eyes [ the more they gazed, the more we hugged each other, haw haw haw *smile*]
The last of the summer-school students left for their home in the Continent.Bournemouth was prepared for the coming forlorn winter..The only warmth I could look forward to was my meagre possession which i must cart off to Manchester.
yes.. it could be very lonely.. now I must admit.
As my memory turned back the pages, I could see the happy years I'd had before.
And now, there goes one of my dreams. There goes my only possession. There goes my everything.
Sigh.. if I cannot function to specification (as anak yang soleh), there goes my mom's only possession.
There goes her everything too.
I sobered soon enough when the Imam said his Takbir for the solat subuh.
Teaching skill & being a mother
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20 comments:
Yes Count, we hope to be anak yang soleh as much as we pray that each and everyone of our kids become one too...Ameen.
And fitting into the criteria of anak yang soleh can be rather hard but that should be our ultimate aim coz the path to heaven is never easy.
Insyallah, performing subuh in the mosque is a sure sign of that coveted path. Coz it is said that one of the things to define a good muslim society is how big is its subuh congregation.
Anak yang soleh is a rare treasure to find. I can only hope I would be to you what you are to your parents...
Selamat Hari Raya to you and your family, Count. One day I hope to write like you. So I gotta keep coming here for free writing class. he he.
Salam le Count
It was two years after my late father's death that I dreamt of him. When I told Mak about it, she said it was possibly because I had "forgotten" about him.
I thought I didn't but it did crossed my mind that I must have let up in my "sedekah" of the Fatihah and the Yasin for the dead.
That was the only occasion that I "saw" him in my dreams.
I wished I had more as it would be the only opportunity to "see" him again.
a friend once told me, the only thing thats keeping us from balasan Tuhan is our mother's doa..
so apalah sangat giving her back her possession rite!
Amin. DITH, the path is not an easy one, but the reward in trying is very satisfying.
I will remember your words on subuh congregation and try to upkeep the practice long after Ramadhan is over.
Thank you DITH
Abdullah, you have always been a delight to have. Mom&Dad have been blessed with beautiful and respectful children with cultured manners. I could see my mom's traits in all of you, one excelling the other in different respects
And selamat Hari Raya to you too Berg. You do take care in that land of olive&cheese. I love your entries, every single one of them, and i've learned from the best.
Thank you for liking Writing101
One day you must teach me how to slaughter a buffalo
CB
Fauziah, thank you for sharing. I too have had 'sightings' of both my parents. And my mom too said the same about dad (when she was alive), that when i do see him in my dream, it is a sign that i'm short on my tahlils and must immediately sedekah qul-huwa-llah to dad. That he is in dire need of the 'offering' that very hour.
*tafakur*
Thank you Art. And at your young age, you are already initiated into these thoughts; i'm impressed. I will try to be the prized possession, to fulfill the prophecy, to do my duty as a son.
Thank you for the reminder, Art, my son
Eh, I thought I left a comment here a few days ago. Guess Blogspot ate it up somewhere.
Count, I am sure you were the best son you could be for your parents, and all that will be reflected in your own children.
And parents being parents, I think they will find it hard not to be forgiving of all their children's major flaws. Don't you find yourself doing that, too?
Queen-o-Majesty. Thank you for your kind visit. I am sure blogspot wiped away some comments cos it was so sullen and quiet for the past 3 days. Your comment make me very happy indeed. I tried to be the best son, but one knows one cannot be perfect.
I agree with you totally on parents' forgiving nature. My mom used to say how much she loved us all, despite all the flaws we children have. She was the best mom there be. She was so full of love. She was all that I could ever ask for in a mother, and more.
May you be one too Queen.
I pray to Allah that you will be loved by your children immensely.
CB
Nana Count,
Ingat jugak kat cek no? Sapa lagi yang nak panggei nana kat COunt kan kalau tak cek ni.
Thanks for the encouragement to blog. I have written some entries and I hope to be able to keep on blogging.
Salam Ramadhan and Aidilfitri to you and family.
AN
Wi,
You have been a model son to her. I always note the eager anticipation in her demeanour whenever you mentioned of coming back. Never a day will pass that she did not count-down. And on cases when you failed to come back, I bled for her.
I on the other hand was a hand she expected as her extention and I failed many times. So I always got on her nerve though no doubt she loves all of us; just different in expectation. I cannot fail her expectation; if I'm not back at weekends, it's big sin unless I called beforehand and phone calls are calls I only do when there's a necessity. I found difficult to do social calls... to anybody. Now I'm pacticing on my daughters even Kak Nab, calling when there is no real need. I found it weird at first but latter not so hard to do. Kak Nab found it weird too and kept asking for the reason of my call.
Lately a month or two before her demise, she seemed to accept that and forgo her usual snide at my long interval between calls. I found that so relieving; without the acute anticipation of snide that was so bitter. However when you moved and communication only through kak Tipah and Abd Rahman's Hp it became difficult again; finding the right time to call..
I very regret those days prior that I had every intent to call but when comes the time, forgot and ... next day maybe.. the next day never materialise, till that phone call from Kak Tipah... This will forever be my stigma apart for others... the feeling of failing her.. not doing enough for her..
AN
Noooo awat Cek lama tak jengok Nana? Rindu sungguh. Anyway Nana amat merasa bahgia sekali Cek dah back to blogging. Miss cerita2 yg banyak pengajaran tu.
Bila Cek nak mai Johor? Countess lama mengidam nak rasa laksa penang cek tu. Nanti dia balas dengan asam pedaih.
Thanks AN for your kind visit. I am glad you are back to writing.
Salam Ramadhan, the last 7 days, to the family.
CB
Li
Don't you worry a wee bit. I have heard her say, over and over again, that she loved all of us the same. The same utterance I remember from ayah (funny only now I realise the sameness).
I think you were right in the expectation aspect. I do have a soft spot for you, always, and that I always did remind Mek, it was not intentional on your part not to call.
The eagerness she waited for me, I was always thankful for. May she be forgiven if she did not wait for you in equal anticipation.
I taught my children to reciprocate what Mek did to me. When Ammar reached home at midnight and found Mek sleeping, he was hesitant to wake her up. I egged him to come to Nenek, woke her up to announce his arrival, quoting that when I reached home even at 3 a.m. she would wake up, if not already wide-eyed smiling, and held conversation until we were ready to go back to sleep. Such was Mek. She was so very cultured, full of love.
Listening to all that, now rest assured that she spoke to me, about you and your family, in equal fervor.
Wi
Boh...anok Soleh serupo ngan Anok Mat Solleh dok ? ambo poso ambo poso...
AJ, seghupo lah tu. Ghama jugok anok Mat Sholeh yg sholeh. Nasib Awang poso.. kalu dok kenor doh seround
Thanks AJ for adding color to this comment section
Alhamdulillah.. ur mom is very lucky to have u as her son.. still receiving gifts even whilein the alam barzakh.. she had raised u well...masyaAllah...
i suppose dalam keheningan subuh... perasaan rindu terhadap bonda yg tercinta pasti menyerang jiwa..... sabar yea count?
sempena bulan yg mulia... kami sekeluarga ingin mengucapkan salam aidilfitri utk count dan keluarga..maaf zahir dan batin jika ada salah dan silap selama ini.. :0)
take care count :0)
Simah, and family
Selamat Hari Raya to you too, Simah. Jauh di perantauan, you too take care, my girl. I am very proud of knowing how much you are being appreciated by Halil's family.
My condolence over the passing of Baba. May he rest in peace and May Allah keep him among the closest to Him.
Dari jauh ku kirim salam, ampun maaf.
CB
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